Never Let You Go (Bears In Love Book 1) Read online

  She scrolled past all his matches, growing less and less sure of herself as she considered all the beautiful women he had been matched with in the high 90th percentile. Near perfect matches. Most were shifter women with a few humans thrown in. All of them were gorgeous. Compared to them she was a mouse and not even a cute type of mouse but a mangy rabid one.

  Shaking her head to get rid of all the morbid thoughts about herself and her relationship with Ryan, she made a mental note to tell him that she had spied on him. She wondered how he would react. It could be the straw that broke the camel’s back, being reminded of all the skinny, pretty women he could have instead of her.

  After looking thirty minutes online for some recipes, she found one for grilled cheese sandwiches with tomatoes and bacon. She thought she saw some canned tomato soup in the pantry that she could heat up. She also had a recipe for a hearty chili she would start for dinner.

  “It’s getting worse out there,” Hank said coming in to the kitchen after taking off his boots and heavy work coat in the mudroom. “I finished a little early. Thought you might could use some help with lunch.”

  “If you think the boys will be here soon enough, I can get started on the grilled cheeses.”

  “They should be here in the next ten minutes or so.”

  “Ok. I’ll get the soup started too. If you want, you could help dice these onions for me.”

  “What are the onions for?” he asked as he made quick work of the large vegetable.

  “Chili. For supper. Do you think that will be enough for supper?”

  “Do you know how to make cornbread?” he asked expectantly.

  She smiled at his eagerness. “Well as long as we have the ingredients I’m sure I can find a recipe on line,” she answered sweetly. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “That would be enough.”

  “Good.”

  “You might want to make a few more sandwiches for lunch.”

  “Oh ok.”

  “So Ryan tells me you are hesitant to get involved with him beyond a quick fuck.”

  Waverly gasped in surprise at the question. She stared up at Hank as he leaned against the kitchen sink next to the stove where she stood. His face was serious.

  “We – well …” she stuttered. “I don’t think it’s only that I want a quick fuck from him but I guess I’m trying to comprehend why that isn’t all he wants from me.”

  “Ryan never was much of a player,” Hank explained trying to help his little brother out with his mate. “He didn’t sleep around all that much before he found you.”

  “He told me about his three women that he thought might be the ‘One.’ I can’t believe they would be so prejudice against shifters like that.”

  “Well I for one am glad they were. None of them were right for him. He dated them because he was young and thought he needed to be dating women like that.”

  “Like what?” she asked, flipping some more grilled cheese sandwiches over. She had a large stack of them on a serving plate. She also stirred the soup a couple of times.

  “High status women, as you call them.”

  “So he does like that type of woman?” she said crestfallen. She knew that had to be the case. He was a man, shifter or not. All men loved beautiful, put together women who could add to their prestige not take away from it, like a frumpy, dumpy, ugly duckling.

  “No, no, no,” Hank quickly reassured her. His denial didn’t seem to be doing the job. She looked absolutely devastated by his comment.

  “I understand,” she began dejectedly. He could hear the tremble in her voice. “I mean that’s what men like.”

  “No it’s not what Ryan wants,” Hank said more fervently. He got her to look up at him surprised by his tone. “Ryan thought that was what he needed but his mate bond has shown him that there are more important things than looks in a mate.”

  “He’s good enough to have both,” she said still sad. “I mean I know I’m not pretty but he shouldn’t have to suffer through that if he can have both. Which he can as a wonderful, handsome and smart man.”

  Hank let out a frustrated sigh. He seemed to be digging himself deeper and deeper into this hole.

  “That’s not what I meant,” he tried again mad at himself for making her feel so badly. “I think you’re cute. Ryan thinks you’re gorgeous but not solely for your outside appearance. He likes your personality too.”

  “You think so?” she asked perking up at his words. “I mean I can maybe be plain if I wear makeup but he might not – care about that anymore.”

  “I know he doesn’t. He likes how you look. Loves it. He can’t stop talking about how soft and curvy you are, how much he likes exploring your body.”

  “Sorry,” Hank said bashfully, now that he saw how flush she went with his revelation. “Brothers talk.”

  She shook her head sheepishly. “I know,” she confessed. “I guess I didn’t understand how detailed it got!”

  “I don’t mean to embarrass you or make you feel bad.”

  “What are you doing to make my mate feel bad?” Ryan snarled coming into the kitchen without taking off his outerwear only hearing the tail end of the conversation and not liking what he was hearing.

  “It’s ok Ryan,” Waverly instinctually tried to soothe the beast inside of him. She turned the stove off and went to him, laying a hand on his chest to try and calm him. “Hank was only telling me some truths I needed to hear.”

  “What truths?” Ryan asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at his brother who looked guilty as hell about something.

  “He said that you used to date very beautiful women but have since realized that beauty is only one thing to consider when looking for a mate.”

  Hank looked at Waverly surprised when she said succinctly what he had stumbled around trying to say.

  “What she said,” he told his little brother pointing at her.

  “You are beautiful,” Ryan murmured against her forehead.

  “I’m beginning to believe you,” she whispered back.

  “What deliciousness do I smell?” Jai asked loudly coming into the kitchen. “Ryan you can take your coat off before you kiss the poor girl.”

  “Shut up!” Ryan sneered good-naturedly. “Jealous bastard.”

  “Damn right. Oh! Grilled cheese sandwiches!”

  Waverly managed to grab a couple of sandwiches for Ryan as the others dug in while he got out of his coat and boots.

  “Come here.” He grabbed her around the waist and sat her on his lap at the kitchen table. “Take a bite.”

  He took a bite right on top of hers. He fed her one time and then himself. He let her eat the soup by herself. There was a comfortable silence as everyone busied themselves with eating the savory lunch.

  “That was great Waverly!” Jonathan complimented the young lady. “Thank you.”

  “Your welcome!” It felt good to feed these hardworking men. She felt useful.

  “How’s the weather?” she asked settling herself deeper into Ryan’s lap, enjoying his heat. When he tightened his hold on her she felt his protection as tangibly as she did his body. She could get used to this, she thought distractedly.

  “It’s still snowing hard,” Jai reported. “You might be stuck with us for one more day sweetheart.”

  Waverly put her hand over the spot that Ryan’s involuntary growl seemed to be emanating from in his chest.

  “What?” Jai feigned innocence.

  “She’s not your sweetheart,” Ryan grumbled possessively.

  The brothers broke into laughter. Waverly smiled at their teasing of one another.

  “Yes I know that,” Jai responded easily. “But she is a sweetheart for cooking for us.”

  “Yes she is,” Ryan agreed without hesitation. He gripped her chin gently and lifted her head so that he could kiss her. “Thank you for doing that. You didn’t have to,” he continued after the quick kiss.

  “I wanted to. I am making some chili for dinner tonight. I hope that’s o
k.”

  “Are you kidding? That sounds great!” Jonathan exclaimed. “Do you know how to make cornbread?”

  “I already asked her,” Hank answered for her. “She’s going to try.”

  “Just like mom used to make for us,” Jai said wistfully.

  “Really?” Waverly commented. “Are there other dishes she made for you that were your favorite?”

  She found out each brother’s favorite dish and tried to remember every detail she could about each entre so that she could look for a recipe similar to it. It was the least she could do since they were putting her up for the weekend because of the snow.

  “I got on your computer earlier,” Waverly told Ryan, after the rest of the brothers had filed out. “Your browser was open to your mate.com profile.”

  “Oh. Sorry about that,” Ryan said sheepishly. Did she think he had been looking at other women since they had gotten together? He hadn’t been. He hadn’t been back to his computer in a week.

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I scrolled through some of your matches. I apologize for invading your privacy.”

  “Not a problem,” he dismissed her apology. “I can understand the curiosity. I hope you realize that I haven’t looked at any of those matches since well before you and I met at the speed dating thing.”

  “Oh. It’s ok if you had. I mean it isn’t as if we’re married or anything.”

  “Not yet,” he said with an eager smile.

  “Are you warm enough?” she deflected laying her hands on his chest not able to feel him because of the thick leather and suede coat he had put on.

  He let her change the subject. Leaning down he kissed her one last time before leaving for the cold. His tongue swiped across her closed lips, gently demanding entrance. She willingly opened to him.

  As their tongues danced together tenderly, a slow burn erupted inside Ryan. Just what he needed to stay warm for the rest of the day, remembering how she felt beneath him and this kiss, every kiss. He could spend all day kissing her. The act was so intimate and yet explosive each and every time they touched lips. No woman had excited him so easily.

  “Ok, I need to go before I can’t,” he rasped pulling away from her unwillingly. “Make your self at home. Thank you for making dinner.”

  “Not a problem. Is there anything I can help with outside? I mean I brought some warmer clothes to wear if you need me.”

  “No I don’t want you out in this cold. You’ll get sick.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m used to it sweetness. Been doing it since I was ten years old.”

  “Ten! Then surely I can do something to help.”

  “Later, if you are dressed warmly enough, you can help feed the newborns.”

  “You have newborn calves?” she enthused. “Oh how cute are they? Ok, I can do that. In a couple of hours?”

  “Yes sweetness. Jonathan will come get you.”

  “Yeah!” she cheered clapping her hands. Ryan smiled liking this little girl side to her he had not seen before.

  “Do you like dogs?” he asked hoping she wasn’t afraid or allergic.

  “Yes! I always wanted one but it never seemed like a good time to get one.”

  “Well we have five of them.”

  “Wow!” He chuckled, seeing how wide her eyes had gotten at the thought of meeting five dogs.

  “They are all working dogs but they are pets too,” he clarified. “You’ll love them.”

  “I will!”

  He chuckled again and despite wanting to kiss her again, he told her he’d see her later, turned quickly and left. Waverly couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

  Chapter 15

  “Hold it up like this,” Jonathan showed Waverly how to grip the bottle for the calves to suck easily. “They are powerful but you’re stronger.”

  “Ok. Is this right?”

  “Perfect.”

  “He is strong!”

  “They can be when they’re hungry.”

  Jonathan was charmed by her laughter. She was enjoying herself and that made him happy. Anything to get her comfortable with them. They needed to woo her along with Ryan so that she didn’t feel as if she were intruding. It seemed like she spent her life fighting to be taken seriously by her parents and by the men in her life.

  They were different. She needed to see that. They would show her.

  “Wow he’s already done,” she told Jonathan. “Show me how to mix the formula.”

  Once he realized she could handle herself, he left to go help his brothers with the rest of the chores.

  “How is she? Is she warm enough? Was she bundled up good?” Ryan asked as soon as Jonathan came riding up to the fence post they were repairing.

  Jonathan looked bemused by his brother’s concern for the woman. “She looked warm,” he answered getting off his horse. “She wasn’t complaining.”

  “She wouldn’t which is why you have to pay attention,” Ryan growled. “I should have gone with you.”

  “Oh my God Ryan! She’s an adult. You don’t need to be her daddy.”

  “She needs someone to look after her,” he protested.

  “She has been taking care of herself long before you came along.”

  “Yeah well she doesn’t have to now.”

  Jonathan guffawed loudly. “You’ve got it bad brother.”

  Ryan grinned. “I do.”

  “I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks. Now help me get these posts fixed so I can go see my woman.”

  Chapter 16

  “Are you sure you have to go?” Ryan whined even as helped her on with her coat. It was Sunday evening. The snow had ended late Saturday night and an unexpected warm spell melted what the snowplows couldn’t touch. The roads would be relatively clear, she thought.

  “I have to work in a couple of hours,” she told him again smiling at his need for her to stay. “And I can only use my work laptop to sign on.”

  “I get it,” he sighed. “I just don’t like it.”

  “Me either,” she agreed hugging him tight. “I’ve so enjoyed being here with you these past days. Getting to know you and your brothers. Thank you for putting up with me all weekend.”

  “You are welcome back anytime. In fact, when can I see you next?” he asked eagerly pulling her back so he could see her face. He was rewarded with her grinning face.

  “I have to work the next three days so after that?” she told him, just as motivated about seeing him again. It just wouldn’t be soon.

  His face fell at having to wait so long. “That long?” he scowled. “I hate not being able to see you every day.”

  “Me too but I’ve got to work and your cows need you,” she teased.

  “Maybe you can bring your laptop here,” he suggested excitedly.

  “I have a secure portal from my home as an added layer of security that I can’t take with me.”

  “Oh.” His face lost its excitement.

  “I know,” she agreed with his lack of enthusiasm for being apart. “But then you’ll have me for three whole days!”

  His face broke into a wide smile. “I’ll take it!”

  She laughed and stood on her tiptoes to try and kiss him. She had to wait for him to lower himself to her lips. He was so tall and big but thankfully wanted to be kissed by her. She still marveled at this fact.

  Astonishingly, for such a big man, his lips were soft and tender. Little butterflies chased one another in her stomach as he caressed her skin. They seemed to grow in number as the kiss became more heated.

  “Well I better get going,” she said breathlessly, pulling away from him even though it was difficult disengaging her lips and tongue from their passionate dance.

  “Ok, but call me when you get home. As soon as you are safe.”

  “I will.”

  “Be careful out there. Drive slow. You know what, call me when you’re halfway home so I know you’re good.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she tried to reassu
re. “I’ll call you when I get to Millers Hill.”

  “Please.”

  “Don’t worry.”

  “I have to sweetness. You’ll be vulnerable out there and I don’t like my mate to be exposed like that to danger.”

  She stared at him in amazement. There was no way she would ever get used to the depth of his feelings for her. It was just so – abnormal in her life. Not even her parents had ever expressed such concern for her.

  “Thank you,” she said, her voice wavering. “You are so kind to me.”

  “It’s easy to do so baby girl,” he whispered, stroking her cheek with a finger. His eyes were so full of adoration, something she had never seen before in a man’s eyes. “Come back to me sweetness.”

  “I will.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  Chapter 17

  “Something is wrong,” Ryan said softly as he stared at his cellphone.

  “Did you say something?” Jai asked swallowing his last slop of chili with cornbread. All the brothers were at Ryan’s home having a late night snack of hot chili before heading out to check on the animals.

  “She should have called by now,” Ryan said louder his heart beginning to beat rapidly.

  “How long has she been gone?” Hank asked as he dried his bowl.

  “Two hours. She should have been at Millers Hill by now.”

  “I agree,” Hank said seriously. “Is it going straight to voicemail?” He knew his little brother had already tried calling his woman. Probably several times.

  “Yeah. So she’s outside of the range of our tower and not yet to the Millers Hill one.”

  “Come on. We’ll go look for her,” Hank said trying to remain calm for his brother’s sake. “Guys we’ll have the cb’s turned on. Just in case.”

  “Sure we’ll turn on the one in the barn while we’re out there.”

  “It’ll be all right,” Jonathan told Ryan sincerely. “You just found her. She’s not going to get away from you already.”

  Ryan gave him a ghost of a smile. “The Goddess wouldn’t be so cruel,” he remarked timidly.