Never Let You Go (Bears In Love Book 1) Read online

  “No but I could.”

  “But you won’t. Anyone who loves his cows as much as you do is not a serial killer. Plus I’m, as every guy I’ve ever met has said, a cow. So that special place in your heart you hold for cows should keep me safe too.”

  “You are not a cow,” he gritted out harshly. “I don’t care what those other men have said, don’t take in their insecurities. They don’t know how to handle a beautiful woman who doesn’t fit into the box they have defined as gorgeous. I do. But I won’t do anything untoward. I’m also a gentleman and this is only our first date. I generally don’t sleep with women on the first date.”

  “You don’t?” she asked surprised. “I thought most guys did.”

  “Maybe most guys do. I’m not most guys.”

  She stared at him with wide eyes. He could see her trying to figure him out. Little did she know that he had many layers that she was only beginning to scratch the surface.

  “Stay there,” he ordered her and got out of his truck. She could barely make him out in the thick falling snow as he came around the truck’s front over to the passenger side.

  “Ryan what are you doing?” she gasped when he picked her up and started carrying her to her front door. “I’m too heavy for you to be –”

  “No you’re not. I’m a strong man baby girl. I can handle a little bit like you.”

  She marveled at the ease, which he seemed to carry her. He wasn’t out of breath. He wasn’t struggling to keep her up. He was strong.

  When he put her down on the front porch, she searched in her pockets for her house keys. Finding them she opened the door to her little house and welcomed him into her home.

  Chapter 4

  “You can switch the fire on with that button to the right of the hearth,” she told him after they had both taken off all their outerwear. She had to stop the drool from running down her chin as he stripped to a black ribbed sweater that clung to every muscle in his upper torso. His jeans weren’t as tight but his ass was perfection. When he bent down to reach for the fireplace switch, she couldn’t help but stare at his sweet butt.

  When he stood back up she quickly looked away and went into the kitchen to get some milk warmed up. As she pulled the milk out of the refrigerator, he came up next to her and seemed to take up all the space in her tiny kitchen.

  “Oh,” she sounded breathlessly at having him so close. She could smell his heady aroma of straw, earth and snow. She didn’t know how any of these things smelled but there they were in her nostrils as she breathed deeply his scent. Underlying them all was his own unmistakable masculine odor that called to a deep part of her femininity.

  She swallowed hard and tried to catch her breath but only ended up breathing in deeper his pheromones, getting lost in his presence. Feeling herself sway precipitously, she was glad for his steady hand on her shoulder.

  “Hey you feeling ok?” he asked concern evident on his face. “Do you need to sit down?”

  “Maybe,” she whispered hoarsely.

  He grabbed the milk and her elbow, leading her to a small kitchen table with two chairs. Once he had her down in a chair and looking like she wouldn’t tumble over, he went to pour some milk into the small pot she had put on the stove already. Putting the milk away he watched her intently to make sure she didn’t fall.

  He watched her put her elbows on the table and then her face in her upraised hands. She looked like she had just come back from a fainting spell.

  “Is there anything I can get you?” he asked crouching down beside her. “Are you feeling light headed? Do you need to see a doctor?”

  “No,” she said softly, shaking her head slightly. “I’m fine. I just – I – give me a minute. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.”

  “Ok,” he agreed going back to the stove to watch the milk. Was he overwhelming her, he thought worriedly? He was a big guy but he hadn’t made any move toward her that he thought was aggressive.

  When she looked up at him, she saw how concerned he was and her heart melted. No man had ever expressed such anxiety for her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, giving him a small smile. “I don’t know what happened. One minute I was thinking how good you smelled and the next I felt overpowered by your – scent. That’s weird on my part. I apologize. I guess I need to get out more often.”

  Recognition dawned on his face. He grinned broadly.

  “My pheromones,” he said as he stirred the milk in the pot. “You were overwhelmed by my pheromones. Perfectly natural since you’re not a shifter.”

  “Pheromones?” she asked not getting what he was saying.

  “Yes. Whenever a shifter meets his mate, he puts out some heavy-duty pheromones to try and entice her to him. The mate does as well. Before long they are – uh, rutting. It’s very primal. For a human it must be … staggering.”

  “Wow,” she sounded astonished. “I had no idea. It makes sense. Do I give off – pheromones even though I am not a shifter?”

  “You do. Not as much as a shifter does. It is subtle but it is there.”

  “Is it bad?” she asked not wanting to know the answer but needing to make sure she wasn’t disgusting him.

  “It isn’t bad,” he replied quickly, surprised she would ask. “It’s quite – beguiling.”

  “Really?”

  “You seem shocked. Temptation is the job of pheromones.”

  “I never thought of it like that. But you’re right. I think I was overcome by my – need for you,” she shared shyly. She got ready to flinch when he told her that thought – her need for him – sickened him.

  She got scared when his face went hard with concentration, she thought, she hoped. Never had she seen a man look at her like he was staring at her at that moment. It did funny things to her insides. Her womb felt hot. Her breasts tingled. Her stomach did a somersault.

  “My pheromones are indicative of my need for you,” he rumbled from deep in his chest as he continued to stare at her. He turned off the stove and moved the pot of warm milk to a cool burner never once looking away from her. It was like he couldn’t stop staring at her. He needed to see her to help him understand that this wasn’t a dream. She was real. His mate was real. Even though she was human she still felt the pull of the mate call as strongly as he did.

  He still needed to take things slowly. She was a shy little thing that was inexperienced. There was no need to scare her off by ravaging her and biting her on the neck to make her his for eternity.

  “You are giving off a lot of pheromones,” she said quietly almost desperately.

  “I am,” he concurred without hesitation. He leaned up against the kitchen counter, his hands gripping the edge so hard they were turning white. It was taking everything in him to keep from scooping her up and taking her into the bedroom to fuck her brains out.

  “That means …”

  “Yeah,” he agreed when she went silent.

  Her look of astonishment made his heart ache. It never occurred to his mate that a man could find her attractive. Well he would spend the rest of their lives letting her know that he thought she was beautiful.

  A part of her was excited by the prospect of a man wanting her. She had never experienced that before in her life. Yet another part of her was wondering what was wrong with Ryan that let him want her. Surely there was something wrong with him if he thought she was desirable.

  She shook her head as if she could dislodge that voice. No, she wouldn’t question this or over think it. Accept him at face value unless he gives you reason not to, she told her self. He says he’s not a liar. Live in that. Give him a chance, she pleaded with herself. He was worth at least that much.

  “I am very attracted to you Waverly,” Ryan continued after a few moments of silence. “But you don’t have to be afraid of me. I’m a man in control of my bear. Even though my bear wants you desperately, I always have the deciding vote.”

  “Does your – man not want me?” she asked her big brown eyes filling with dashed hop
e.

  “Both my bear and I want you sweetness,” he told her, letting go of the kitchen counter and stalking halfway across the small room which now looked tiny with him standing in the middle of it. “We’re the same but I’m always in control of my primal side. I don’t want you to ever be afraid of the shifter part of me.”

  “I’m not,” she said honestly. “I’ve never been afraid of you. I probably should be, for caution’s sake, but I can’t muster up any fear of you. It’s like I know you would never hurt me, physically, on purpose. I know that to my bones.”

  Her womanhood heated when she heard him growling at her words. The primitive noise made her baser instincts want to take over – the instinct to fuck high on that list.

  “You’re right,” he grumbled. “I would never hurt you.” His chest expanded as he drew pride from his mate’s words. He had finally found his way home.

  Almost before he knew what he was doing, he was on his knees in front of her. Laying his head in her lap, he hugged her legs to his chest. Closing his eyes, he let out a deep breath and knew what it was like to be where he was supposed to be.

  He started to hum with relaxation when he felt her fingers run through his hair. The other hand stroked his shoulder, marveling at the strength at her fingertips. Never had she been this close to a man before, touching him and he touching her. It felt so wonderful. So right. So real. She felt real. It was like she had lived as an idea of a person named Waverly but until Ryan touched her she was finally able to become substantial matter, a person.

  How could she ever repay him?

  Chapter 5

  They laughed at the comedienne on TV. She was acerbically funny. They both liked that kind of humor.

  Spending the last couple of hours sitting on the couch, watching TV as the snow continued to fall outside, the two of them rested in each other’s presence. Ryan couldn’t keep his hands off of her. When he wasn’t holding her hand, he was tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear or stroking his thumb over the pulse point in her wrist. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders pulling her in tighter to him.

  Waverly leaned into each of his touches. She needed more from him but didn’t dare be bold enough to let him know that fact. Even though he had touched her beyond any other man in her life ever had what if he balked at additional intimate caressing? She wouldn’t be able to stand the humiliation of being rejected.

  When her head came to rest on his chest, he smiled at hearing her deep breath go in and out. She had felt safe enough to fall asleep on him. Before he drifted off too, he got up and picked her up. She nestled herself in his arms without waking.

  The grin on his face indicated how happy he was at that moment. His mate trusted him. He hadn’t realized how much he had needed this other person in his life until then. Being able to take care of her felt so right, like his destiny.

  He found one bedroom with a bed in it that looked like it was lived in. The only other room held an office. Setting her down on the bed, she slowly blinked her eyes open.

  “Ryan?” she sounded confused holding onto his arms.

  “Yes I brought you to your bedroom sweetness.”

  “Oh, ok.” Her eyes settled closed and she went still but didn’t loosen her grip on him.

  When he tried to pull away from her, she woke up again.

  “Are you leaving?” she pouted sleepily. “Don’t leave.”

  “Waverly, I’m going to sleep on the couch,” he told her reassuringly. “I’m not leaving you.”

  “Stay with me tonight,” she said closing her eyes once again.

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he said honestly. “I don’t know that I have that much self-control sweetness.”

  “Who says you need to have any?” she questioned him still half asleep. She didn’t know what she was saying.

  “I’m going to the couch if you need me ok baby girl?”

  “Ok,” she sighed discontentedly and fell back into a deep sleep.

  Ryan smiled down at her. She had no idea how badly he wanted to crawl in to bed next to her, to rest his hard body against all her softness. But she wasn’t ready yet. So he did one of the hardest things he had ever had to do in his life, he turned away from his mate and walked out of her bedroom.

  He didn’t think he could sleep knowing he was under the same roof as her. But after checking one last time with his brother Hank who was taking care of the cows, he laid down on the couch, which was surprisingly comfortable and closed his eyes. Sleep came swiftly, followed by dreams of brown eyes, black hair and caramel skin.

  Chapter 6

  He awoke to the smell of bacon frying. It was heavenly. His stomach rumbled. They hadn’t eaten the night before, food forgotten in the haze of pheromones and endorphins enveloping them.

  Getting up he ran a hand through his hair hoping it didn’t look as bad as it usually did when he woke up. When he walked into the kitchen he took a deep breath of the wonderful smells wafting around the room.

  “Oh,” he heard her sigh breathlessly. He found her by the stove looking at him. Well looking at his naked chest. He had taken his sweater off the night before to get comfortable. He grinned wickedly at her look of need as her eyes drifted over his upper body. She liked what she saw.

  Boy he was cut, Waverly thought excitedly never having been this close to a half naked man. She knew all shifters were prime specimens of health but sexy too? It was almost too much perfection to behold. She wanted to trace all his defined lines with her tongue, intimately getting to know how he was stitched together into a god.

  Blushing when she saw him staring at her, staring at him, she lowered her gaze reluctantly and turned back to the stove. She took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart. How had she let the opportunity to sleep with him get past her? That was probably her only chance at being with a man this hot.

  He had said no, she reminded herself. Right, he didn’t want to sleep with her.

  “Breakfast smells wonderful,” he said coming up from behind and embracing her around the waist. Luckily his arms were long enough to encircle her easily. She stiffened in surprise. She closed her eyes in ecstasy when he kissed the side of her neck, lingering a little longer than necessary, his breath giving her goose bumps. She found herself leaning back against his warm, strong body.

  “You smell even better,” he said in her ear sending tingles throughout her body.

  “My pheromones?” she asked her voice breathy.

  He laughed seductively his chest rumbling against her back causing her chest to ache. “Yes sweetness, your pheromones,” he agreed. “But you have a unique scent all your own.”

  “I do?”

  “Yes, why do you think I call you ‘sweetness’? You smell like caramel.”

  “My body wash,” she said sheepishly.

  “Maybe. Let me taste you and see.”

  Her breath caught when he licked her shoulder. Desire thickened her blood throughout her body. She had never been so glad to be in a tank top leaving him plenty of skin to explore. Which he now did. His wet open mouth and tongue slid down her shoulder around the curve where it met her arm.

  “Yep, it’s you,” he rumbled. “You taste like caramel to me.”

  She giggled at the thought of him tasting her like a piece of candy.

  “There’s my sweet girl,” he said his voice going low and gravelly. “I need to taste the other side so it doesn’t feel left out.”

  “Yes I think you are right,” she breathed. “Don’t want – things to be uneven.”

  “No ma’am.”

  Her eyes closed again with the tantalizing feel of his tongue and lips on her other shoulder. His touch was so seductive. Her panties began to get wet as her pussy drooled into them.

  “Ryan,” she cooed.

  “I love it when you say my name like that,” he commented gruffly. “I’m going to stop now because if I don’t I’ll have you on the floor of this kitchen before long.”

  “That’s
ok,” she said looking over her shoulder at him in a provocative manner.

  He growled as he saw her bite her lower lip. He wanted to be biting that lip of hers. Maybe one kiss …

  Turning her around gently, his hands went to her head and angled it so that he could bend down to kiss her. As soon as his lips touched hers, his cock went hard. The amount of sexual energy pulsing through this slight contact made him ache all over.

  Waverly wanted him so badly. She opened her mouth as an invitation to him. He ran his tongue over her lower lip before slipping it into her wetness. Cajoling her tongue to join with him, they tasted one another, desperate for each other. Pulling her up onto her tiptoes, he forced her to put her hands on his shoulders to steady her self.

  He burned where she touched him. He wanted her hands all over his body, warming him from the inside out. The desire he had for her was the mate call on steroids. His bear was roaring with need. It scrabbled at the surface wanting to shift so that it could experience their mate as well.

  No, he yelled at it. Ryan wasn’t about to let his bear take one moment away from him with his mate. Not to mention he didn’t want to scare the hell out of her by shifting halfway through their kiss.

  His bear finally settled down and agreed to live vicariously through his human for now. Eventually Ryan would have to show Waverly his bear and when that happened, he could get all the stroking and kisses he wanted.

  “Sweetness,” he growled pulling away from her grudgingly. “I want you so bad but this isn’t how I usually do this.”

  “Have sex?” she asked still caught up in a haze of desire.

  “Yes. We need to wait.”

  “Why?” she whined slightly. He set her back on her feet, still holding onto her as she swayed slightly, dizzy again with pheromones. Her hands couldn’t reach his shoulders anymore, so she slid them down to his chest, laying them there, marveling at how hot, soft and hard he was all at the same time.

  “Because you are my mate,” he said matter of factly.

  “What does that mean?” she asked curiosity getting the better of her need to pay attention to how his naked chest moved up and down against her hands. How he had a smattering of hair across his chest that coalesced into a strip that began at his belly button and then disappeared into his jeans. His proclamation made her stop thinking about where that strip of hair ended up.